Ever since this blog began I put it in the hands of Our Blessed Mother.

If the blog was going to be all about her and helping others to live out their consecration to her, she would have to help me do the work. On days like today—when the demands of your vocation persistently break upon you like the waves of the ocean—I especially ask “Mama Mary” for some extra help. And her help never fails.

After typing in “motherhood” in the Google News Search option, a headline popped up that caught my attention: “This Mom’s Viral Warning Is Making Women Think Twice About Having Kids” (Contains some foul language; be advised).

The “viral mom” is a 30 year old woman named Sabrina.

There are some things that Sabrina says that are true.

Being a mom changes you.

Being a mom means making sacrifices.

And yes, children don’t come with a “return receipt”.

Getting vs Doing

But these snippets of truth, do not justify her motherly letdown and her selfish reasoning. Her confusing logic—in addition to some of the comments she received from other women about her video—is indicative of a deeper problem.

Life is no longer understood as being about what good can I do; but about what good can I get.

For the Disney-minded world life’s happiness is about having a dream and having it come true. But in the real world, life’s happiness is not found in getting what you always wanted. Life’s happiness is bigger. It’s about satisfying the thirst for love.

In our heart of hearts all of us are gifted with the capacity to love. God, in loving us first and in creating us in His image and likeness, has written the capacity to love on each of our hearts. Even more, He has gifted us with the dignity of freedom so as to make this capacity to love a reality.

And this fact about love points to the truest fact about life. Our human dignity and the exaltation of our freedom is perfectly found in being a “gift of self” to others. Life is about loving and serving, not having and getting.

No woman on earth has given us a more edifying example of this than Mary, our Mother.

Mary’s Maternal Example

Twelve of the fifty-two advocations in the Litany of Loreto call her “Mother”. They crown the list of Marian titles so as “to highlight the various facets of Mary’s role as mother”. But Mary’s motherhood is not just a title she bears; it is a vocation that she fulfilled. And she fulfilled in such a way that she illuminates the doing and getting problem I mentioned earlier.

In a sense, Mary never “dreamed” about being a mom. She was set on always serving God through her virginity. But when God revealed His eternal plan of love to her, Mary freely welcomed the gift of motherhood. Not only did she freely welcome it, but she also fully gave herself to it; or I should say, she fully gave herself to Her Son and to us.

Motherhood and children are two things that God has joined together and must not be separated. In her video, however, Sabrina divorces the two. She repeatedly says that she loves her daughter and that she would do anything for her. But at the same time she despises motherhood.

Rather than motherhood itself, what Sabrina really despises are the sacrifices that being a loving mother demands of her. She despised them, because she has her happiness placed elsewhere. Her happiness is in getting the good things she wants and not in doing the good she is uniquely capable of as a woman.

Being and Doing

As the perfect Mother and model of motherhood, Mary shows us the exact opposite. She is all about the being and doing of motherhood. Being a mother, she acts according to the nature of true motherhood. She loves and gives herself in love. She gives herself to her Son in love and gives herself to the service of Her adopted children.

All throughout the Gospels, whenever we see Mary being a mother, she is also doing motherly things and in this she finds her joy. Her silent and subtle joy can be seen in her selfless response to God’s will to bear His Son, in her haste to go and help her cousin Elizabeth, in her delicacy in preparing swaddling clothes for her Son, in her willingness to welcome visitors to His manger, in her promptitude to bring Jesus to the Temple, in her diligence to find Him when she thought He was lost, in her initiative to prepare for His first miracle, and in her standing faithfully at the Cross when Jesus’ finest Hour showed the whole world what doing good is all about.

And so, to Sabrina, to all young women, and to every person who hungers and thirsts for happiness, I say look to Mary. Learn from Mary. Imitate Mary. That goes especially for those of us who are consecrated to her.

Especially to the ladies reading this today, if you are tempted to think, “Mary is the perfect woman, so gentle and meek. I cannot relate to her at all.” Then let me suggest you read Megan Madden’s book, Mary, Teach Me to Be Your Daughter: Finding Yourself in the Blessed Mother.

Happiness is not found in getting the good things you always dreamed of but in doing the good you are capable of. All of us are capable of the greatest good and that is in being a “gift of self” to others: to God, to our children, to our family, to our friends, and to our neighbors.

So seize the day and make it all Hers!